A Horngry Man and Woman | A Short Story
The past few days have been filled with drama. Nigeria is a reality TV show and we all are viewers and players at the same time. Some weeks ago, the world received an august visitor which has been christened — COVID-19. Unfortunately, during his first broadcast, General Buhari, our famous lifestyle and travel celebrity otherwise known as a President, called the virus “COVIK 1–9” Sigh!
Anyways, a virus that allegedly originated from Wuhan, China has brought the world down to its knees. The most developed countries who pride themselves as world super powers have turned to God for prayers. As the victims increase and more people die of the virus, nations across the world have called for a total lockdown of major cities, halting normal activities including businesses. Nigeria has taken the same path after the President declared a temporary lockdown in Lagos, Ogun and Abuja.
Trapped at home, and forced to isolate, millions of people across the world have turned to Tik-Tok, a video sharing platform to ease boredom. Nevertheless, my most preferred social media platform is Twitter. Twitter is an interesting place where everyone is knowledgeable. Everyone on Twitter has an opinion on anything and everything. Additional fun fact: anyone can be called out on his/her bullshit. That place is full of ‘disrespectful’ children of anger that will drag your forefathers if you misbehave. Funke Akindele, AY the comedian, Burna Boy, Toke Makinwa, Deji Adeyanju, among other celebrities have been dragged recently on the microblogging platform. It’s been a gbas-gbos season. If you dare yarn dust, they will reason you and they won’t come easy.
Wait a minute. This isn’t supposed to be a serious story. How did I get here? Scratch everything I’ve written above. Let’s start all over again. Here is the real story:
On Thursday, April 2, I was on Twitter enjoying the banter, subs and clap backs when a tweet caught my eye. It was from one of those Twitter users who post tweets like “If you could have me for dinner, where would you start from”, attached with provocative pictures that will make a man want to rush to Pornhub. Anyways, on this fateful day; a beautiful afternoon, some days into the lockdown, this lady shared a tweet about how the lockdown has made people very horny and bored, especially single people. She got a lot of response with many agreeing with her. Both male and female who were spending the lockdown alone were complaining about being horny.
I can’t even lie, I was or should I say I am one of those people but I dare not share something like that online, as my reputation may be at stake. As the gods will have it, she shared another tweet saying she is starting a closed Whatsapp group for horny people. It would serve as a community of bored and horny people who will converge online to talk dirty, and share erotic photos/videos. There was a disclaimer though, that it was not a group for hookups. She mentioned that interested persons should slide into her DM where she would screen applicants. I rushed into her DM and was lucky to be selected. She shared the invite link with me and I joined.
As soon as I entered the group, my messages were flooded with videos and photos. Upon opening, I saw images and videos that drove me crazy and made me more horngry. There and then, I knew I was in Valhalla. I saw pictures and videos of ladies who have shared their naked photos — their breasts, their pussies and their banging bodies. Oh my! Who are these girls? As a guy, I dare not share photos of my dick on any group. I no get that kind mind. But right before me were tons of erotic photos and videos from strangers I have never met. This was premium porn content. I loved it.
Before I could introduce myself, I received new videos and messages. There was this girl who was on fire at the time. She was touching herself, recording and sharing videos and photos. Oh my! I wish I was with her at the time, I would have made her touch herself more. She was naked, playing with her breasts, touching them and giving herself pleasure. She slipped her hands into her clit and started to touch herself. I imagined myself giving her that pleasure. It’s my favourite. I will first fuck her with my fingers before I start using my tongue. That girl was wild. She fingered herself for about 3 minutes until she reached orgasm. She went to her bathroom to clean up and continued to touch herself again. At this point, I felt the need to introduce myself. Who knows, I might get lucky.
“Hi. I’m Deji from Lagos. I’m new here. Can anyone show me around?” I posted a sexy gym photo of myself showing off my muscles. The messages rushed in like a flowing ocean. Almost all the ladies acknowledged my presence. I could feel it that they were drooling. Meanwhile, there was this other girl who also shared some erotic videos and photos earlier. Hers was different from the lady I mentioned above. She was classy. There was something about her. Her body was that of a goddess and the way she chatted on the group showed her off as one with panache. There was this picture she shared of herself posing seductively in a red lingerie. I wanted her.
I quickly settled down in the group and made myself popular. I teased the ladies who shared their erotic photos. They enjoyed it and teased back. While some asked for more hot photos of me, others asked me to send a dick picture. There was this girl, let me call her Lady X, who caught my attention and acted like I didn’t exist in the group. Lady X shared more hot photos and videos of herself but didn’t make any comment to my posts. I was determined to catch her attention. I kept going with the flow in the group, soaking myself in the most erotic content I have ever consumed in my entire life. I played her game — I ignored her as well.
And then, Booom! It came. “Why the show off? We have seen you”. I smiled to myself. The fish took the bait. “I guess someone is intimidated”, I responded. She sent a straight face smiley and disappeared. Activities continued on the group as if nothing happened. For over one hour and thirty three minutes, I expected her to send another private message. She didn’t. I couldn’t hold it anymore. I opened my keypad, typed and hit the send button. “If I could have one thing right now, it would be you.” She replied asking me what I meant. “I like girls who play hard to get and don’t pay attention to me. I want you right now.” She took ten minutes to respond. “If you can get yourself to my place, maybe you’d get lucky.” At this point, I wasn’t even thinking anymore. I asked if she lived in Lagos. She told me that she stayed in Ajah. “That’s not far away from me, I stay at Chevron.” We talked for a while. We flirted with each other. There were no personal conversations and no deep stuff — just pure cruise. Lady X complained that she was bored. I mentioned again that I would come to her place if she sent me the address. She dared me!
At exactly 8:54PM, I arrived at her estate gate, Cooperative at Badore in Ajah. She called the security guys at the gate and gave me directions to her house. I was expecting her to be at her house gate. She wasn’t there. Lady X only instructed me to park properly to avoid the anger of her rude neighbour and described her flat. Don’t even ask me how I got to her house, despite the lockdown. Figure it out yourself.
If the photos and videos she sent were hot, the creature that stood before me as she opened the door was the actual fire. My heartbeat started pacing. She was wearing a red lingerie — similar to the one in the picture she sent to the group. Her body banged!!! She didn’t even tell me to come in. She didn’t stop at her living room. She just led the way to her bedroom, like a cow being guided to the slaughter house, I followed her without questions. I was in awe. Before me was a goddess I was about to worship! I prayed for forgiveness of sins and hoped that it wouldn’t be recorded against me as idolatry.
She had a wine on the bedside table. A half-full cup was beside it. She gulped it quickly, refilled and offered me. I sipped it, not keeping my gaze off her. I caught her smile briefly. I loved the suspense. Our mouths would mutter no words while our bodies conversed. I didn’t mind. She moved closer to me, pinned me to the wall and collected the remaining glass of wine from me. She returned it to where it was picked. I grabbed her butt. She moaned. Good.
She unbuttoned my shirt. Her soft hands sensually playing with my chest. She licked and sucked my nipples. Her tongue ran circles around my nipples. Slowly, her hands headed downtown with playful licks that started at my chest and led down to my stomach. She touched me all over, ran her hands through my hair, rubbing my pecks, while she used her tongue to play with my navel. She licked my abdomen in a straight line. I felt my legs vibrate. I quickly maintained composure. I tried not to give myself away.
She untied my belt, unzipped my trousers and drew it down. I completed the process by letting my legs out of it. She did the same to my boxers. She traced her fingers up and down my torso, kissed in circles around my groin and inner thighs everywhere. She went on her knees, like one who was about to make a special request to the universe. She grabbed my balls and used her hands to toy with my hero for about two minutes. Before I knew what was happening, she took my rod into her mouth and sucked it like it was hers, looking up briefly as she did. She smiled seductively.
It started slowly. Then she increased the pace. Her mouth…her hands…she sucked…used her hands…sucked, and sucked…I moaned. I let her have her fun. I determined to pay her back in her own coin. I stopped her. Turned her around and this time, she was the one pinned against the wall. I tried kissing her on the lips but she stopped me. I got the message. I kissed her neck. I removed her bra and pant. I grabbed her breasts. I love her supple breasts. I squeezed them.
I moved her to the bed. I climbed on top of her. I ran my hands through her hair for a few seconds. Then, ran the tips of my fingers up and down her neck. I kissed her neck. I kissed, licked, and nibbled on her earlobes. I slowly moved down and kissed her breasts. I put my mouth around a breast. I sucked the left one and squeezed the other. And took turns on both. I kissed her shoulder. I bit into it. She opened her mouth. She moaned softly.
I explored her body. I ran my hands around her thighs and she slowly separated them, as my hand made its way in-between. I caressed. I teased. Nibbles. Nips. Licks. I took my index and middle finger and ushered them slowly in an up and down motion. I moved my finger upward toward her navel and played with it around her clit, sliding in and out. I felt the sensation burn in her. Her moans became faster and louder, her legs were quaking and her pussy dripping.
“Please, don’t stop.” she begged. In my head, I was like, “Oh! So, you can talk. I thought you were forming hard guy before.” I ignored the plea in her voice. I started using my tongue, first slowly, then I increased the speed and pressure. “I want you inside me now. Fuck me! Please!!!!” she screamed. I entered her slowly, made love to her… gently…tenderly…hardly moving inside her…
I am not sure if she said COME INTO ME, BABY… but I think I heard COVID ME, BABY, COVID ME… That was the last thing I heard as I poured myself into her.
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Olabode Emmanuel is an actor, writer and film/TV producer. He tweets @olabodeeo
